It’s Friday, which means the Aga Khan Trophy. This is the biggie. The world’s best showjumpers – and I have seen Scott Brash with my own eyes, so I know he is here – pitch up in teams of four for an afternoon of thrills and spills. Volunteers are handing out flags and it would seem that the whole of Ireland is here; there surely can’t be anybody left in County Mayo. There is only one way to get through the crowds: keep your line and kick on.

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Ireland’s president arrives amid much fanfare and then everybody settles down for the first entertainment of the afternoo  n: the parade. This is almost worth the ticket price alone. About a hundred pipers march into the arena, blowing for all they are worth, to lead each team round the ring. Frankly, anybody who is prepared to get on a sparky warmblood…